| Ken Davey |
One fine autumn day I went to the wood shed for an armful for the house
heater.
After returning I was standing in front of the wood stove, armful of wood on
one side and a fire poker in my free hand.
The lid (top-loader stove - http://rainforest.htmlplanet.com/ - plans are no
longer available.) was off and I was arranging the partially burnt fuel in
preparation to add the load of wood I carried.
At this point my dog Tica, a rather stupid black lab (excellent nose - no
brains), became aware that there was a squirrel in the house.
The dog went to where her nose told her the squirrel was.
The Squirrel wisely went the other way.
The other way was towards the stove where the smoke pipe resembled a tree
(tree = safety in squirrel world).
The squirrel went up the pipe - almost to the ceiling before the reality
that it offered no claw-hold sunk in.
"Aha, thought the squirrel, there is a dark hole at the base of this
'slippery' tree."
I watched, transfixed and helpless as the squirrel dove into the stove.
The stove with a fire in it!
At the last possible instant a little hand latched onto the rim of the open
hatch and the squirrel popped back out of the hole.
By this time the dog was back at the stove frantically seeking the rodent.
Left with little choice the squirrel lept from the stove to my shoulder.
Tica started to circle me trying to get a bead on the squirrel and the
squirrel just switched shoulders to stay out of sight.
I did have that poker but any attempt to hit the squirrel had a good chance
of dealing myself a painful blow.
After a few moments of high drama I just walked out the door with the
squirrel still on my shoulder.
Once outside the rodent high-tailed it for the real trees.
A few days later, despite my best efforts this tree rat again got into the
house.
Now I am a peaceful man but enough is enough!
Out came the 22 and (several holes in the walls later) the problem was
solved.
As long as they stay in the forest I have no issue.
Otherwise...........BLAM!
Regards.
Ken.
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| OmManiPadmeOmelet |
In article <3q3vk8FcjaddU1@individual.net>,
"Ken Davey" <PGJSCAYQVANK@spammotel.com> wrote:
> One fine autumn day I went to the wood shed for an armful for the house
> heater.
> After returning I was standing in front of the wood stove, armful of wood on
> one side and a fire poker in my free hand.
> The lid (top-loader stove - http://rainforest.htmlplanet.com/ - plans are no
> longer available.) was off and I was arranging the partially burnt fuel in
> preparation to add the load of wood I carried.
> At this point my dog Tica, a rather stupid black lab (excellent nose - no
> brains), became aware that there was a squirrel in the house.
> The dog went to where her nose told her the squirrel was.
> The Squirrel wisely went the other way.
> The other way was towards the stove where the smoke pipe resembled a tree
> (tree = safety in squirrel world).
> The squirrel went up the pipe - almost to the ceiling before the reality
> that it offered no claw-hold sunk in.
> "Aha, thought the squirrel, there is a dark hole at the base of this
> 'slippery' tree."
> I watched, transfixed and helpless as the squirrel dove into the stove.
> The stove with a fire in it!
> At the last possible instant a little hand latched onto the rim of the open
> hatch and the squirrel popped back out of the hole.
> By this time the dog was back at the stove frantically seeking the rodent.
> Left with little choice the squirrel lept from the stove to my shoulder.
> Tica started to circle me trying to get a bead on the squirrel and the
> squirrel just switched shoulders to stay out of sight.
> I did have that poker but any attempt to hit the squirrel had a good chance
> of dealing myself a painful blow.
> After a few moments of high drama I just walked out the door with the
> squirrel still on my shoulder.
> Once outside the rodent high-tailed it for the real trees.
> A few days later, despite my best efforts this tree rat again got into the
> house.
> Now I am a peaceful man but enough is enough!
> Out came the 22 and (several holes in the walls later) the problem was
> solved.
> As long as they stay in the forest I have no issue.
> Otherwise...........BLAM!
>
> Regards.
> Ken.
>
>
>
And a .22 makes them harvestable. ;-)
Squirrel is delicious...
Obviously I can't eat poisoned ones tho'.
--
Om.
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
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| Ken Davey |
OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> In article <3q3vk8FcjaddU1@individual.net>,
> "Ken Davey" <PGJSCAYQVANK@spammotel.com> wrote:
>
>> One fine autumn day I went to the wood shed for an armful for the
>> house heater.
>> After returning I was standing in front of the wood stove, armful of
>> wood on one side and a fire poker in my free hand.
>> The lid (top-loader stove - http://rainforest.htmlplanet.com/ -
>> plans are no longer available.) was off and I was arranging the
>> partially burnt fuel in preparation to add the load of wood I
>> carried.
>> At this point my dog Tica, a rather stupid black lab (excellent nose
>> - no brains), became aware that there was a squirrel in the house.
>> The dog went to where her nose told her the squirrel was.
>> The Squirrel wisely went the other way.
>> The other way was towards the stove where the smoke pipe resembled a
>> tree (tree = safety in squirrel world).
>> The squirrel went up the pipe - almost to the ceiling before the
>> reality that it offered no claw-hold sunk in.
>> "Aha, thought the squirrel, there is a dark hole at the base of this
>> 'slippery' tree."
>> I watched, transfixed and helpless as the squirrel dove into the
>> stove.
>> The stove with a fire in it!
>> At the last possible instant a little hand latched onto the rim of
>> the open hatch and the squirrel popped back out of the hole.
>> By this time the dog was back at the stove frantically seeking the
>> rodent. Left with little choice the squirrel lept from the stove to
>> my shoulder. Tica started to circle me trying to get a bead on the
>> squirrel and the squirrel just switched shoulders to stay out of
>> sight.
>> I did have that poker but any attempt to hit the squirrel had a good
>> chance of dealing myself a painful blow.
>> After a few moments of high drama I just walked out the door with the
>> squirrel still on my shoulder.
>> Once outside the rodent high-tailed it for the real trees.
>> A few days later, despite my best efforts this tree rat again got
>> into the house.
>> Now I am a peaceful man but enough is enough!
>> Out came the 22 and (several holes in the walls later) the problem
>> was solved.
>> As long as they stay in the forest I have no issue.
>> Otherwise...........BLAM!
>>
>> Regards.
>> Ken.
>>
>>
>>
>
> And a .22 makes them harvestable. ;-)
>
> Squirrel is delicious...
>
> Obviously I can't eat poisoned ones tho'.
The tree rats in this neck of the woods are so small they aren't worth the
bullet.
Ken.
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| OmManiPadmeOmelet |
In article <3q58rlFd5pjmU1@individual.net>,
"Ken Davey" <PGJSCAYQVANK@spammotel.com> wrote:
> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> > In article <3q3vk8FcjaddU1@individual.net>,
> > "Ken Davey" <PGJSCAYQVANK@spammotel.com> wrote:
> >
> >> One fine autumn day I went to the wood shed for an armful for the
> >> house heater.
> >> After returning I was standing in front of the wood stove, armful of
> >> wood on one side and a fire poker in my free hand.
> >> The lid (top-loader stove - http://rainforest.htmlplanet.com/ -
> >> plans are no longer available.) was off and I was arranging the
> >> partially burnt fuel in preparation to add the load of wood I
> >> carried.
> >> At this point my dog Tica, a rather stupid black lab (excellent nose
> >> - no brains), became aware that there was a squirrel in the house.
> >> The dog went to where her nose told her the squirrel was.
> >> The Squirrel wisely went the other way.
> >> The other way was towards the stove where the smoke pipe resembled a
> >> tree (tree = safety in squirrel world).
> >> The squirrel went up the pipe - almost to the ceiling before the
> >> reality that it offered no claw-hold sunk in.
> >> "Aha, thought the squirrel, there is a dark hole at the base of this
> >> 'slippery' tree."
> >> I watched, transfixed and helpless as the squirrel dove into the
> >> stove.
> >> The stove with a fire in it!
> >> At the last possible instant a little hand latched onto the rim of
> >> the open hatch and the squirrel popped back out of the hole.
> >> By this time the dog was back at the stove frantically seeking the
> >> rodent. Left with little choice the squirrel lept from the stove to
> >> my shoulder. Tica started to circle me trying to get a bead on the
> >> squirrel and the squirrel just switched shoulders to stay out of
> >> sight.
> >> I did have that poker but any attempt to hit the squirrel had a good
> >> chance of dealing myself a painful blow.
> >> After a few moments of high drama I just walked out the door with the
> >> squirrel still on my shoulder.
> >> Once outside the rodent high-tailed it for the real trees.
> >> A few days later, despite my best efforts this tree rat again got
> >> into the house.
> >> Now I am a peaceful man but enough is enough!
> >> Out came the 22 and (several holes in the walls later) the problem
> >> was solved.
> >> As long as they stay in the forest I have no issue.
> >> Otherwise...........BLAM!
> >>
> >> Regards.
> >> Ken.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >
> > And a .22 makes them harvestable. ;-)
> >
> > Squirrel is delicious...
> >
> > Obviously I can't eat poisoned ones tho'.
>
> The tree rats in this neck of the woods are so small they aren't worth the
> bullet.
>
> Ken.
>
>
Don't count on it... ;-)
Surely they are not THAT small???
--
Om.
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
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| ~patches~ |
Ken Davey wrote:
<snip>
>>And a .22 makes them harvestable. ;-)
>>
>>Squirrel is delicious...
>>
>>Obviously I can't eat poisoned ones tho'.
>
>
> The tree rats in this neck of the woods are so small they aren't worth the
> bullet.
Tree rats here have a serious bad attitude! They are currently outside
my greenhouse with their little picket signs demanding equal access to
green tomatoes. Apparently they don't like the rock keeping the gh door
closed. They even have their union leaders involved. The head union
leader is a little tipsy from drinking the left-overs in the bottoms of
the beer cans in the garage so I had to shut the garage door for his own
safety. One rebel group is throwing a party in the nearby tree with
loud music and evil grins as they piss all over the truck. Hopefully
they will enjoy the special treat DH is picking up for them ;) I think
it would be in DH's best interests to get here before the tree rats have
put up a road barrier and taken hostages!
In the meantime I'm off to make a couple of green tomato dishes, plain
tomato sauce, and salsa :)
>
> Ken.
>
>
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